


be the one to hold my heart

by mysilenceknot



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Kiss, Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 01:51:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11681508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysilenceknot/pseuds/mysilenceknot
Summary: “Will you kiss me?”“Are you sure?”Iris held onto his hand tighter. “I don’t know.”





	be the one to hold my heart

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was actually gonna be something completely different but I'm kind of glad that I wrote something soft.  
> This isn't even the only "Cisco and Iris find comfort in each other after Barry's gone" fic idea that I have but I just really like the concept of Iris knowing that Cisco can relate to loving Barry and watching him vanish. Anyways. Title comes from [arms](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeW0Sl0tNS8) by Christina Perri.

“Will you kiss me?” Iris had asked one night, after yet another round of drinking. Cisco looked into her glassy eyes and kissed her forehead. “That’s not what I meant,” she said, sitting up more fully.

“I know,” was the response. “I know but we’re drunk and I don’t want us to do something we’d both regret.”

So they didn’t kiss. Iris slept in the guest room for yet another night (she couldn’t sleep in the apartment yet and she couldn’t sleep at her father’s house and Star Labs was  _ gone _ just like Barry --) and when she awoke she found Cisco sitting at the table. He looked up when he heard her enter and smiled.

“Hey, I made breakfast.” Cisco always made breakfast. She usually didn’t eat it because she’d sometimes look at the spread of food and think about Barry and be right on the verge of tears again, but this morning felt… different. Iris walked to the table and sat down, wrapping her bathrobe around her as she took a seat. He’d made the type of greasy food that her body craved after a night of drinking and for the first time in at least a solid week she managed to eat breakfast without having to leave for fear of bursting into tears.

Iris sat silently as she ate, mostly nodding her head and shooting Cisco smiles as he rambled about what he was working on and what they were trying to finish and what book Cindy had brought him back from Earth-19. Eventually she cleared her plate - an accomplishment considering how miserable she was - and grabbed Cisco’s hand before she could grab it. There was a brief pause of them looking at each other before she spoke.

“Will you kiss me?”

“Are you sure?”

Iris held onto his hand tighter. “I don’t know.”

With a sigh, Cisco leaned forward again and kissed her on the forehead. “I would love to kiss you, Iris. But you have to be sure. It hasn’t even been two months since we lost him --”

“I know,” she said sharply. “You think I don’t count the days, Cisco?” She let go of his hand and pushed her chair back to stand up.

“That’s not what I meant and you know that.” Iris stopped. She felt like she was going to scream and it wasn’t Cisco’s fault and she wanted…

“I want to feel something other than this emptiness,” she said. “I want to feel -- I don’t know if I can do this much longer -- you’re the only one who really understands.” Iris felt the tears beginning to run down her face but she didn’t even care in this moment. All of her emotions felt so raw at any given moment. After the first two weeks she was tired of being asked if she was okay because she wasn’t, how could she be okay, how would she  _ ever _ be okay? But Cisco understood more than anyone else possibly could how it felt to watch Barry walk into the Speed Force. Cisco was the only other person in her life who could relate to the specific pain that filled her chest.

“Hey,” Cisco said behind her, and Iris turned. His arms were open and as he pulled her into a hug she let herself cry, a full body cry that would likely give her a headache when she was done but it didn’t even matter. Cisco ran one hand soothingly along her head but didn’t say anything as she cried and cried and cried. Eventually the tears ran out and Iris loosened her grip on him.

“If I ask you again tonight,” she said into his shoulder, “would you kiss me?”

Cisco stepped back so they could meet each other eye to eye. He gave her a small, sad smile. “If you ask me again tonight, it would be my pleasure to.”

 

* * *

 

“You have to promise me this won’t change anything,” Cisco said when they were back in his place. Iris was sitting next to him on the couch, one hand lightly placed on his thigh. She tilted his head as he spoke. “And you have to promise me you’re not doing this out of self loathing or as a way to hurt yourself.”

“Of course I’m not doing this to hurt myself.”

“Iris.”

Iris took a deep breath and moved her hand to grab his instead. “Cisco. This won’t change our relationship. This won’t… I know this isn’t going to make me not miss Barry and I know this isn’t going to make  _ you  _ not miss Barry but you’re the only one who understands. This.” She moved their hands to press against her chest. “You’re the only one who feels this as deeply as I do. So I promise, I promise I’m not doing this out of self loathing. And I promise that I’ve thought this through before this moment. So please, please kiss me.”

Cisco’s eyes closed for a second. In the next second he’d leaned forward and kissed her, their hands still pressed against her chest.

It was different. It was nice. It was nothing like kissing Barry and that was good, it was good because she wanted to feel something without forgetting or replacing him. She slowly moved back with him, their hands finally letting go of each other so he could hold himself up over her as they continued to kiss. The kisses got harder, deeper, more intense.

And she felt warm. She felt so warm, she felt the closest thing to happiness than she’d felt in the last forty-eight days. When Cisco pulled away she opened her eyes and couldn’t help but giggle at how intensely he was staring at her. It was a look he’d never thrown in his direction and as the expression went from heat to hurt she had to lean back up to kiss him.

“I’m not laughing at you,” she said, still laughing. “I swear I’m not laughing at you, you’re so good and this was so nice.”

Cisco’s genuine hurt morphed into more of the playful offense she was used to seeing. “A guy kisses a girl and this is the thanks he gets? Laughter?” They sat up together and as Iris stopped giggling Cisco gave her a huge smile.

“I haven’t heard that sound in ages, it feels like.”

Iris hummed and leaned back against the couch. “I never thought I’d make that sound again.”


End file.
